Saturday, September 22, 2012
Lately I’ve been thinking about when I was saved and my life between then and now. I want to formulate my testimony so I can talk about it clearly without spider webbing. The “issue” I’m having is that it is spread out and weaved throughout my life...I don’t have this big bang like other people. I just know that this change in me has been so different that I don't ever go back!
I think that most people that have known me, have at least known that I believed in God and grew up “Christian;” but there has been a long season in my life where there was no evidence to support that belief.
In my youth, I missed the truth that God loved me no matter what. My actions didn't make Him love me less; but I allowed them to divide us instead unite us by going to Him with issues, DISBELIEF, concerns, HURT, fear, GUILT… and the list goes go on. The reason I didn't go to Him was because I didn’t know how to. I didn’t know who he was so it was like going to a stranger. I truly believed in God and believe that I was saved; but because I didn’t know Him and understand the gift that He had given me, he didn’t seem very appealing and just made me feel guilty.
Now I am learning who He is, what the gospel means and what the gift of salvation is. I recently listened to a message on 1 Kings 19:19-21 called Burn the Plows. This is a one sentence synopsis that doesn’t fully explain the message; but my take away was that God will not love Christians more or less if they sin; but by burning the plow or cutting whatever is tethering them to sin, will result in them knowing Him and living abundantly in Him. My life, my “Christianity” was limited because I was not willing to set fire to what was tethering me to the world.
It is about surrender. Surrender of both our external and internal. “The greatest crisis we everface is the surrender of our will. Yet God never forces a person’s will intosurrender, and He never begs. He patiently waits until that person willinglyyields to Him.”
As I increasingly surrender I learn more about Gods character. That increases our relationship, my desire to change and His transformation of me.
I REALLY ❤ Him. I want to love Him more and be able to tell everyone; but I have to admit that there is still apprehension in my mind and heart that I'm still working through. I'm so thankful that this is a process we will go through together as He continues to change me into His brightly shinning servant.
1 Peter 1:3-12 (ESV)Born Again to a Living Hope
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied about the grace that was to be yours searched and inquired carefully, inquiring what person or time the Spirit of Christ in them was indicating when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the subsequent glories. It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things that have now been announced to you through those who preached the good news to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look.